I found a letter buried deep in my heart. Written on its envelope were the words, "Do not open until 9/11/11." This morning I opened it. This is what it said.
I watched it happen, ten years ago today. Just as I've watched many things happen throughout time.
Many a finger have pointed to me. I should have stopped this. If I am who I am, if I Love as I claim to Love, why then did I sit idly back and let this nightmare play out?
Many years ago, I made a decision. And this decision, it seems, is something to be seen as for better or for worse. I decided...to let you decide. If I wanted what I wanted, then I could never force any action on anyone. I wanted you to decide for yourself how you felt, how to act, who to be, what to do, and ultimately how you were going to live your life. Finding happiness is up to you.
But I'm still here. Don't think I never act. Though remember that your actions have consequences. If you decide to hurt someone, don't hold me responsible. I'll take the blame because it helps others cope, but I do not force you to do the things you do. I do not work for evil.
Ten years ago, when the towers fell, don't you know what happened to me? Don't you see I also lost my children? They were mine too. I loved them more than anyone could ever know. And don't you think it broke my heart to watch it happen? You don't think I weep, but surely I can, and I promise, I do.
And those who committed this...they were also my children. And I watched for years as they went about all these things, as they twisted my nature in their minds, as the adults around them polluted their hearts with misunderstanding, hate, and rage. And it wasn't that there was nothing I could do about it, but that when I decided to let you decide, I had to accept that some would choose good and others evil.
I pound my fists against the wall when these things happen. For thousands upon thousands of years I've watched my children slaughter one another for all the wrong reasons. More often than not I am that reason. What they think I want could never be further from the truth. You think I want bloodshed, violence, and pain? How could I ever want those things? I want you to be happy. You're my kids. My flesh and blood. My everything, and I love you so much.
But unfortunately, as for free will, it becomes all or nothing. Either I give it to you, or I don't. There is no in between. And so I made it yours. I accepted that some would abuse this gift. And as you know, many have.
But I love you. I love them even, those who do evil, as much as you'd probably like me never to say those words, I do. I do not love who they became, but I loved who they could have become.
I want peace. I want love. I want understanding. But if I forced it on the world then there would be no value to your life. You would have no purpose. You would be a robot. And I don't like robots. When you tell a robot you love it and it tells you back, you know that it doesn't really share the sentiment, it is only programmed to do so.
You are not programmed. As much as I want those to say they love me, I am prepared to hear the cries of those who hate me. I am good. I promise. I am kind, I am peaceful, and I am loving. But I am torn. Robots mean peace. Sure that is the goal...peace, but a controlled outcome is worthless. There is nothing to be gained from existence if it simply is.
Those who were taken from you ten years ago are with me now. That too I promise. Break away from this idea that if they belong to this church or that church or did not belong to any church, then I would be so terribly selective in who I take with me.
I have taken them all. If there is one decision I have left to myself it is this.
I work in ways you will never understand. There is so much, too much, to be explained in a lifetime. So why would I hold my children at fault for not understanding something they may not have had time to realize?
If you are to know one thing about me, it is this: I am Love. Not just that I do love, but that I am Love. Truly. Purely. And Love accepts. Love understands. Love is patient. Love is kind. Perhaps you know the verse. But also know that I would never ask you to hurt one another. I could never desire such unrest.
I will never force you to do the right thing, just as I would never force you to do wrong. But I am asking you to do what is good, in every day you live, in everything you do, I pray you do what is good.
Many pray to me, but don't you know I do the same for all? I pray.
Many have faith in me, but even more than this I have faith in you. I have faith that you know the difference between right and wrong, and I pray that you make the right decision.
There is always time. Time for you to Love one another, for Love is of...me. If you do, I promise you will see a change for the better. Do not give up.
In time, this date will become just another day on a child's calendar. It is not their fault. Do you still weep for the crusades? I do.
To you, to those who have lived though this, you shall never forget. But to those who shall forget with time, as that is what time allows us to do, I will keep this promise: I will never forget.
I will never forget the ones you lose, in this tragedy or in any other, internationally, nationally, personally. You are not simply in my heart, you are my heart. And how could I ever forget such a thing as my own heart?
A lot of people insert my name into places it does not belong to justify certain behavior, to get away with saying certain things. Well, I have done this for you to tell you if any try to do this in a dark context, they truly do not understand who I am. I am asking you to help them do so. Would you believe that I would ever say, 'I am misunderstood?'
If I am Love, then it must be that...
God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not proud. God does not dishonor others, God is not self-seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
God hates no one. Put down your signs.
I love you.