Friday, March 2, 2012

You Are Who You Choose To Be

It seems more and more that we're living in a world of people telling you who you ought to be. So much so that you start forgetting what you're expectations are for yourself. You become so eager to please or not to disappoint or to accomplish the goals and tasks that others expect of you that you leave your personal ones by the wayside. After a while, you start to forget who you really are and live in the black hole of trying to exist as the person others think you should be.

These people are in your way. Run them over, tackle them, knock them down, or plow right through them. I don't care what it takes, you get those people off your back and out of your way. Now.

That's a metaphor of course! Don't actually hurt anyone in the process. But take back what's yours. Take back you. You are not who others expect you to be. You are who you choose to be. Plain and simple.

The most difficult times come when you strip away the layers of those around you, the weight of outside expectations, and you come to realize that you're not even sure if there is a real you anymore. There's just this shell of your former self that's cracked away and all that's left is this mysterious goo that represents nothingness. And you have no self confidence and you're not sure what it means to succeed and you get depressed and feel hopeless and worthless. I would never berate you for feeling this way, it's understandable. But you've had your time to sulk and now it's time to get your head out of the sand and realize you have a purpose. Even if that purpose is just to prove you have purpose to yourself. (Did I lose you?).

All this doom and gloom bull people try to feed you, this ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we're just a virus that lives then dies and we exist only for greed and selfishness and glory, yadda yadda yadda. Those guys have read WAY too many books, watched WAY too much television, and have lived their actual lives WAY too little. If at all. What do they know? Stop taking them at their word. Stop letting other peoples interpretations of life define your own. Get off your ass and get out there and live your life, you've only got one.

Fate is a fairytale and an easy manipulator. It's the excuse of excuses. "Maybe it's fate that I live like this." Wrong. If someone killed someone else and their defense was "Yes but it was fated that I kill that person", wouldn't you think, "That doesn't seem right..."

There's a time in life where we've all said it before, I know I have, "Everything happens for a reason." But honestly, not EVERYTHING happens for a reason. If everything in all of time was happening all for the same reason, that would be a terrible, awful, wicked reason and I would rebuke it and make my own reasons. And that's free will. That's what we have. That's our gift and our ability. We get to make choices. It's not the situation that defines who you will be, it's how you react to the situation. Fate means something else dictates our lives for us, it means something else is determining our choices and the outcomes for us, which means our existence it moot.

But your existence is valuable. If you've come to a place in life where you feel you're up against a wall, there's no door, it spans the length of the earth and reaches into space so there's no way around or over it, it would seem that that's the end. Not true, there's always one way. Break through it.

I said the phrase "everything happens for a reason" is untrue. But here's a cliché that isn't. "You can do it." Plain and simple. It's going to be hell finding a way, and it may seem like there isn't one, but it's when you think you're broken and defeated that a light will shine, and then you stand back up and you Hulk smash that wall into a thousand tiny little pieces. And the biggest shock of all is that you'll find the wall was made of paper this whole time. It looked big and seemed intimidating, but because you were too scared to try and knock it down in the first place you never knew it would be this easy.

Everyone else told you how scary the wall was. They told you how thick and dangerous and impossible it was to do anything about, and they told you to accept it and deal with it and move on. And you did for a while and it hurt like hell and you wished there was another way. But all those words that people say, that they demand you believe, that they insist they know better for you than you know for yourself, these are all paper tigers, or in this case, all bricks in a paper wall. Only when you shed the binds of the expectations of others and broke yourself down did you realize how to build yourself back up and achieve your own expectations, and how to just walk right through that wall.

You can do it. Seriously. Don't doubt it, don't shrug your shoulders, don't shake your head and say "Oh, I don't know..." Pick your head up, hold it high, take a deep breath, and do it. It's only a paper wall. And who are they to tell you that you can't do it? Who are they to tell you who you are?

You are who you choose to be.

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